Chocolate Bunnies Feelin’ the Pinch? Easter Price Gouging a Threat!

I bite the ears first. You?

Greetings, Pagans!

For those of us who have worshiped at daybreak on the front porch of our homes by digging into an Easter basket and passing out with a sticky, brown grins by sunset– this economic news might just send you off to pray.

Hershey said this week it’s going to raise prices by 9.7%, a move that many people expect competitors to follow. The entire industry is facing huge price increases for raw ingredients — the cost of sugar has more than doubled in the past year — and can no longer absorb the higher expenses.

— So says MSN’s “Top Stocks” news blog. Read and weep.

Many of us of the Boomer variety, were made to suffer the indignity of attending church with siblings in matching outfits before getting to hunt for eggs, chocolate and otherwise, on Easter Sunday. (And yes, bonnets and Vitalis were involved!) I’m not without honoring the Story. While Jesus surely rose from the dead, our dad drove to Walgreens and got loads of chocolate and other candy in the wee hours of Saturday night.

Now what seems to be war, maybe, is sticking it to us as we all crave that chocolate bunny–fertility, spring, new life…fertility. Whether it’s hollow, cream-filled or solid, I admit to having a rabbit habit when it comes to this holiday.

And now…this. End times for sure.

Late Breaking chocolate bars spell trouble for the Ivory Coast exporters as well as our Easter Basket. The uprising in Libya might be messin’ with our bun-rabs It’s all here.

In a compelling editorial in the Indiana University’s Indiana Daily Student, the rising scare of oil vs chocolate puts a whole new face on the violence in North Africa

What more can Ga-Daffy do to rain on our parade” And now, our Easter parade?

While Jelly Bellies and PEZ dispensers stand to survive this pre-Easter price hike, one has to consider the delicate balance of those who equate God and Chocolate. I say they’re on their own. Find a support group and hoard some Starburst.

Even to the freakish side of the advertising medium–will this slow down production of the Cadbury Bunny? She’s doing her all to make the expanded retail season from Valentine’s Day to Easter Sunday a high-calorie, caffeinated, zit-producing foil-wrapped treat.

This kind of news can trickle down straight to the product mascots. Biz insiders say that she has been with the Aflak duck as of late, wandering aimlessly in hopes that both their odd careers will be salvaged. Gilbert Gottfried is Jewish so find a link to Passover and abandon this essay on candy and Christ if you so desire.

I feel as though the only industry to profit, if not skyrocket from this crisis is….

You know and I know, it’s Peeps.

Oddly enough, the stocks in bread and wine are stable. Thank heaven!