Diary: When you personally experience ageism, that’s when you know it’s real

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I’ll remember the winter of ’23-’24 as a difficult time for me – professionally, not personally.

This turbulence, which seems to be gradually receding as temperatures rise, has derived primarily from professional uncertainty.

To begin, it’s important to understand that Pints&union was always more than just another job to me. It didn’t matter that I was a hired hand with no direct financial stake as an owner, and about as little say over daily affairs as a dishwasher. P&u was a logical extension of all my previous lives in the beer business, and I took my position there very seriously.

In terms of working for others, I always believe in what I do – and I believed fully in P&u. During my tenure, the beer program there was both financially and artistically exemplary given the available resources, and it blindsided me to be forcibly cashiered in November, which was neither my choice nor a decision I somehow “shared” in making (as seems to have been mistakenly reported in some circles).

And so that word again: “Professionally.”

Since this is my first go-around as a 63-year-old, trying to make sense of the past few months includes sorting through all sorts of feelings about the meaning of another suddenly relevant word, namely “retirement.”

How the hell did I get here?

On the one hand, signing up for social security a bit early would mean accepting less than a full cut. However, it actually would be more money than I was being paid at P&u (which was my choice). I enjoy my job at Food and Dining Magazine, which is the kind of part-time gig ideally coupled to “retirement.” Ideally I’ll be able to wait another year, maybe two, before opting for my “retirement income.”

Concurrently, I haven’t given up on the notion of a beer-related job comparable to the one I held at P&u, as offering another (and perhaps final) chance to demonstrate the advantages of purposeful and intelligent design, as these annoyingly rare qualities of thought and organization pertain to sourcing, stocking and selling better beer.

At P&u, beer consistently accounted for 35-40% of weekly gross sales, and I kept the mark-ups right where directed by management. In short, I easily paid for my own modest salary, and made money for the company. It was an artistic and fiscal triumph.

But I’ll readily concede that a measure of realism slowly is eroding my optimism, the most sobering aspect of which is...Read more