(Originally published here on May 31, 2020. When you have a craving, and there’s none around … well, at least I had the foresight to buy some Viking Hat Bakery bagels at the farmers market yesterday. As an aside, in autumn of 2023 came the long-awaited return to the Faergekro restaurant in Copenhagen, and I’m pleased to report the herring there are as lovely as ever.)
“A kind word is no substitute for a piece of herring or a bag of oats.”
— Sholom Aleichem
When it comes to social media, other people go berserk about postings on politics and religion, but the ones that really annoy me go something like this:
Q: Hey guys, what’s the weirdest restaurant experience you ever had in a foreign country?
A: Well, one time we were in a McDonald’s in Casablanca, and …
STOP.
RIGHT.
THERE.
You what?
You went all the way to Morocco and ate in a McDonald’s?
Why on earth would a person do something like that?
I mean, it’s bad enough to brag about your Chick-fil-A Platinum Rewards card here in America, but why waste your time patronizing generic chains when you’re have the good fortune to travel overseas in the first place?
(gurgling sounds are emitted in reply)
Wait — what was that?
You’re asking me if I think the Chick Fil A in Beijing serves Peking Duck Bites?
Sigh. We can only hope, seeing as they would make for another “gotta try” Instagram moment, and I realize how crucial those are to you. If you’ll excuse me, I may need to remove myself from the conversation; if I’m lucky enough to last another two decades before paying my tab for the final time, you can rest assured I’ll be spending as little as possible on foods like these from places like those.
It reminds me of a visit decades ago to Salzburg, Austria. I was chatting with a forlorn and utterly terrified Texan who was depressed to the point of a nervous breakdown because he couldn’t find any beer to drink in this lovely and cultured mountain city.
Pitying the disoriented Lone Star specimen, I tried to talk him off the ledge: cheer up, mate, because it’s your lucky day as a beer lover. You’re in Salzburg, and Germany’s just across those mountains; meanwhile the brilliant Augustiner beer garden lies a few blocks away. They have sausages, and the beer there? Heavenly.
He looked at me like I...Read more
