Six months ago I started blogging my wedding here for various reasons. The main reason was that I didn’t feel like wedding nonsense belonged over on my regular musician blog. In the past month, however, that blog has suffered because I have become so wedding-consumed with it that I can hardly think about anything else. It is both annoying and embarrassing. If I don’t write the crazy out of my mind, it festers there. That’s no good for anyone.
And so, I apologize, but I’ve got some crazy to get out of my system.
How about this for a confession? I am terrified of being in the spotlight. You’re laughing, I know. Sure, I’m completely at home — perhaps most comfortable — when I’m on stage. I’ve never had stage fright. Even singing in front of a broadcast audience of two million people with Garrison Keillor clapping along next to me didn’t phase me in the least. But the idea of walking down an aisle with everyone staring at my every move is totally freaking me out.
Dumb, I know. I’m just used to spending my worry-time worrying about how I sound, not how I look. Every single bridesmaid (and apparently a few groomsmen) is suddenly on a diet or insane workout regime. People have been asking me all kinds of fashion and accessory questions or how I’m wearing my hair. Apparently, what I look like is important, and that is something I’m not used to caring much about.
I did finally cave in and make a hair appointment for that day, mostly so I don’t have to think about it. Although, now I’ve been told to bring in magazine clippings and such of styles that I like. I’m tempted to just do what the morning shows do, and have everyone vote on what dress to wear, and what hairstyle to don, and what flower to stick in my weave and whatnot.
Maybe if I just playing the accordion down the aisle, no one will notice my shoes.