Council Supports Cleavage Ban

There's no ban on cleavage here. . . yet

I’m just kidding.

I was having a conversation today with April Perkins about how silly the No Nudity ordinance is — we decided Louisville must now be the largest city in America where you can’t pay to see a topless dancer — and wondered what absurdity Bob Henderson’s bunch downtown might support in his effort to keep locals from thinking about sex. The headline here is how I imagine The Onion might treat the story.

Seriously, can’t you imagine a “No Tolerance for Ta Ta’s” measure? TV reporters rushing to ROCK leaders asking them about the spread of venereal diseases caused by shadowy creases in female chests? Managers from local breastaurants like Hooters and the Tilted Kilt defending their uniforms before the Metro Council? Having cleavage police at local swimming pools? Straight-faced reporters asking random people downtown whether cleavage is distracting?

Far-fetched? Maybe.  But maybe not.